that little box

the last week has held so much. so much i never thought would actually happen. so much i'm happy for. so much more unknown future. so much more to look forward to. fear. what is fear? it can be an emotion which is aroused by pain, danger, or evil. it can be real or imagined.

this week started off like any other week. regular routine and such. little did i know how much fear had ahold of me. Christ tells us not to fear. much easier said than done. i'm often afraid of making mistakes or making the wrong decisions or having plans that turn into disasters. i'm finding out i'm especially afraid of the unknown. (notice my previous post, i'm kinda seeing a pattern here. lol) why live life in fear? what does it accomplish? i started asking myself these things. living in fear only creates a box in which you confine yourself in and never let yourself out. you find comfort in that little box. you make it your home. little do you realize, that little box eventually has you by a death grip. you try to get out of it, but it takes too much effort. too many negative thoughts run through your head while you try to escape the comfort zone of your box. whats wrong with staying comfy, right?

i believe God intended for us to step out of those little boxes. He challenges us to do so everyday. He asks things of us we think are crazy. God, you want me to do what? are you kidding me? and yes, sometimes, He asks us to stay inside that little box and grow closer to Him. it gives us time to grow and seek His face. yet, we can still grow and seek His face when He calls us outside that little box. i believe it makes things more challenging. after all, we have to still seek Him while exploring the things outside the box. this week, i believe He asked me to step outside my little box...the one i was so comfortable in. the one i vowed i wouldn't get out if til i moved to boise. haha, man, i'm sure He is laughing right now. i'm just so darn stubborn and yet, even He has ways of making me move. i find when i ask myself questions, thats when He speaks. He tends to get his words in as my answers to my questions. its a rather interesting process to be honest. anyway, now i'm just rambling in this post. bottom line. sometimes we have to take steps in fear to get out of that box thats holding us because of the fear we have. so in a sense, it takes fear to get out of fear in some cases. make sense?

life is an adventure. i dont want to look back one day and regret the fact that i stayed in my little box because i was afraid. i pray He gives me the guidance and strength to get through the next days, weeks and years. He will. He is faithful. all the time.

Fear is a little dark room, where negatives are developed.

stand still

so my life currently seems as if time is at a standstill. i'm not sure if this is good or bad. so much is going on, so much is changing, so much is going to change. i'm just waiting for it to take off and then i'll be wishing time would slow down. the last month has been a challenge, thats for sure. i absolutely HATE thinking about the changes ahead. i don't like change. i like things and life to remain consistent. i love adventures, but i like knowing i can come back from the, with my normal life being intact and the same. i'm anxious to see what the next six months has to hold, yet, i think its going to hold so much more than i thought possible. i think God is leading me in a totally opposite direction that i had originally planned. that just goes to show ya, don't tell Him how you are going to do things. :) i'm learning, maybe one day i'll catch on. :P meanwhile, i'm sure He'll just keep chuckling as i try to run the show. the weekend is almost over, which means another full week at work. oh how i love my job. i don't want to leave it. i love working for people that have the same love i do for the God we serve. it makes things so much easier.

i'll leave you with this:

"Never be afraid to leave an unknown future to an known God" ~Corrie Ten Boom

(that lady had lots of wisdom, what a life she led!!!)

amazing grace

we live in world today where everything we have is earned. we grow up thinking that in order to get something, we must work for it. if we want money, we must work. if we want love, we must work. if we want fame, work is involved there too. if we want to become something in this world, by today's standards, we must somehow achieve it by works. without works, we have nothing to achieve, or so it seems in today's society. we do works to feel accepted or good about ourselves, it gives us a sense of belonging. without this sense of accomplishment, we sometimes feel lost. i find it amazing how people LOVE free things. i know that i always am excited to receive something free, to know that its been given to me. i mean, whats better than winning a prize you didn't have to work for?? aren't buy one get one free deals great? obviously, we as people, think something of free things, otherwise, there would be no such thing as free. i'm amazed to know that some people refuse to accept the greatest free gift of all, grace. what is grace? grace can be defined as a favor, pardon or mercy. grace is God's free gift to all people. He pardons us from all sins. He came to this world to forgive us for every sin we would commit while here. its His free gift to us. it seems totally unnatural by today's standards to accept something such as this grace of God. as earlier stated, we are taught we must work for things. so if this feeling of grace and pardon is so hard to accept, maybe it really is because of the way we are taught. its so simple, yet takes so much humility to accept, to finally realize that there is nothing i can do to save myself. i must put down my pride and let Him have everything. if we never accept this grace He so freely gives, its almost as if we are imprisoned. we are constantly trying to achieve perfection or acceptance. if we can't achieve those things in which we are pursuing, then we become frustrated. its like constantly carrying a burden on your back. let me tell you, if you try to carry a heavy burden for long, it gets quite wearisome. He is there to carry all our burdens. We may not seem worthy of this at all. Again, its a very surreal experience to truly let His grace rule your life. its something that gives me hope and happiness every day. i do think that sometimes i take this grace for granted. to know that He loves unconditionally is amazing. today people think we must work to be loved by everyone. its hard nowadays to find people that love you for who and what you are. Christ loves us regardless of who or what we are. isn't that mind boggling? He can take away all the frustrations, if you just give your life to Him. if you just set down your pride and admit you can't do it on your own. doing works, in the case of grace, well, its not going to get you far. you can try to help God, but He doesn't ask for or need your help. i was thinking about the song He has the whole world in His Hands the other day. most of us grew up singing this song. think about the words, they speak truth. who knew such a great and almighty One could exist? if He has everything under control, don't you think He can work out the most detailed events in your life? He can bring you hope and happiness. (we as Americans search for happiness in all the wrong places.) He can carry your burdens and help you conquer obstacles. Only He can though, we are nothing. i'm encouraged by this. to think that Gods grace is sufficient enough for all my needs. I just have to let down my pride so He can work. i wish some people would choose to be freed from this every discouraging thing known as works. He loves and accepts us, regardless of works. (again, totally unnatural) works can be like a ball and chain we are constantly lugging around.

my chains are gone, i've been set free
my God, my Savior has ransomed me
and like a flood, His mercy reigns
unending love, amazing grace.

if we focus on the fact that His love is unending and is grace is amazing, we see how truly worthless in this world we are. we NEED Him and His saving grace.
ok, i think i've rambled enough for now. :P